The Prednisone Monster

In a past blog post, I compared prednisone to a badass boyfriend that I just keep going back to.  When I am not on prednisone, I do whatever it takes to not get back on it, but then eventually, I have to give in.  Starting prednisone again feels amazing in so many ways.  It starts working within hours and eases the inflammation and a surge of energy wakes up the rest of the body that has been so drained.

Though prednisone is still very much part of my life, the badass boyfriend, fortunately is not.  Instead I have a wonderful, supportive husband who is a positive force in my life.  While he is happy to see my health improve on prednisone, he is not happy with the "new me".  Natalie on prednisone is argumentative, super-sensitive and highly emotional.  He hates it but puts up with it.

At times, I feel very disturbed by the fact that others notice a difference in my personality.  I can remember an old boyfriend being very turned off by me and saying, "you're like an animal!".  Or when I do get upset about something, and my husband points out that I am reacting this way because of the prednisone.  This bothers me because I feel like my words and feelings are given less importance.  It's comparable to an emotional woman being referred to as "on the rag" or PMSing.

Emotion is real and it comes from somewhere.  It is not swallowed within those little white pills.  I like to think that prednisone gives me the opportunity to stand up for myself a little more and address issues rather than ignore them.

It's very strange to think that a medication can alter your personality so much, or that we are so controlled by our hormones.  Prednisone is a steroid drug which, from what I understand, causes more testosterone in your system which accounts for many of the physical and emotional changes in your body.  I like to think the prednisone just makes me a little more macho.  It's still me, just me with balls!